PQ,
If you truly value your own life and your children's you will RUN not walk away from this man, he is very very disturbed and you WILL end up DEAD, or in intensive care if you continue to entertain the idea of going back to him. He is stalking and overpowering you with the guilt trip. He will NEVER change, and you are taking your own life in your hands by being around this terribly sick man. Take it from someone who has been there. I left my country for fear of my abuser. He will NOT stop until he has you. You are worthy of being loved by someone kind and caring and love. This is NOT love with this man. I hope you can get some help to wipe your hands of him. It's not your place to feel sorry for him.