The fact you did this at six does not necessarily mean you or your parents were deficient in the attention you got. I think maybe you could ask yourself about what would have happened if one of your authority figures would have known you were doing this? In the mind of a six year old there is a great deal of anxiety about the transition from having all your needs met, being the focus of attention to going to school and maybe this was a bit of a rough transition for you because you had another little one around. Maybe you could still remember being taken care of the way your cousin was being treated and missed it? I think your big concern is how you feel and process it. I also think you are on the right path to coming to terms with this. I am glad you are able to think and process these things. I am even more proud to be a member of PsychCentral after I have seen all the support for you here. I too, have been to several different sites, and never seen an online community that tries so hard to be so supportive and understanding. If some of us ask the wrong question or maybe say the wrong thing it is almost always in the right spirit.