too many of my nights have been spend bundled into a ball, bawling my eyes out just because of my rage and cursing his name.

all the while asking, why did i invite him over?

i absolutely know what you are feeling. but hell, you can't do ANYTHING about it now, can you? so get some sleep. two advil PM's will do the trick if you don't have anything stronger. sleep can clear thoughts, and sober you up