i don't know what to do. since i got raped dec 31st. i've been fighting to recover. I've been trying so hard. i was finally happy because i moved schools and that lessened the chance of running into "him" that stupid jerk ughhhh!! ruined my life. It's not fair. so my "friend" well not anymore ovb, well she started going out with him. i just found out today. oh my god i was screaming at her over the internet! i told her what he did to me and she just didn't believe me! she just took his f*cking side on it! i cant believe this. i really didn't want this to happen at all but i guess it did. he scared me. ugh i was trying so hard to just smack some sense into her. like before this! i was finally over my ager phase into recovery and now its back! along with depression and my panic attacks. I just told her i couldn't talk to her anymore and when i was walking up to my room i just started breaking down. I started having a panic attack. it was the worse panic attack i've ever had. I couldn't breathe at all. Tears streaming down my face, i couldn't breathe. I actually thought i was going to die. I just wish I did, So i wouldn't have to deal with this. but weirdly a Hillary Duff song keeps me going. I just need someone to hug me and never ever let go.