....more of a ramble to get things off of my chest. But apparently I have an eating disorder NOT OTHERWISE SPECIFIED. I mean who came up with this crap? It's because I restrict calories, exercise, and purge. I'm not losing weight but my psychiatrist said that I haven't been gaining any weight for years. I want to be thin. I'm so huge!!! My therapist says I need to eat more. But please, she's skinny and so little. I bet she doesn't eat as much as she wants me to. My therapist also says that I should gain at least five pounds. She also says that I'm on the lower end of the "healthy weight" on the BMI. And I tried to eat normal for the past few weeks. And it's been working. I just don't like how I look. Plus, at work today somebody called me a pig because of what I was eating. I think I'm going to eat even less and start going back to the gym. I haven't cut myself in almost a month, which is good, but I am having really bad urges. I found that controlling my weight helps with my urges.

Thanks for listening...well technically reading lol