Just a question, and contemplation, not si... and I'm not even sure if 'General' is the appropriate topic, but here goes.

When I was born, not only was I a breech birth, but I was also born blue & had to be revived. When I was 11, I got hit by a car & died three or four more times, only to be resuscitated each time. I don't have a lot of memories from being hit by the car, other than one point where I was standing on a hard metal table and screaming. I didn't get the real sensation of floating above the room watching them w/the crash cart, or seeing 'the tunnel'... After the screaming episode, the next conscious moment I had was being in the ICU a week later, starving, needing the restroom & trying to get out of bed w/a broken leg & a thigh-high cast and failing miserably.

But ever since then, I have times when I feel like I'm just not supposed to be here, that my soul or what passes for a soul, fled my body during one of those times and I'm just the 'living dead', a walking, talking automaton with no real purpose, no destiny... just waiting for my time to come around again. Or maybe I'm living a stolen life - that my resuscitation took someone else's incarnation opportunity away, and the Universe just sort of stuck me here, like a missplaced and lost extra in a major movie scene.

Is anyone else here a NDE survivor, and do you ever have these feelings of not belonging or being lost in your own life?