you know, don't even think about diagnoses. i mean it. they don't mean anything and all they do is cause chaos. i mean, it seems as though your diagnosis was a trigger. and honestly as long as you aren't LOSING weight i don't see what the problem is, as long as you are steady. and, like amante, i am sure you aren't anywhere as "large" as you assume you are. as long as you can remind yourself that you aren't seeing what you really are, then maybe that'll ease some discomfort.

i am proud of you for not self injuring for a month! that is HUGE!