Hi Lex,

There is the point that the others have spoken about.....that it is our own reaction to what is happening & we need to be able to control how we react to something....I agree to a point, especially if it isn't a continual situation. I have been told the same thing that is my problem because it is MY own reaction to something.

However I really feel that it goes beyond that....& when it is something that is a continual action by the other side & I know how I react to it & they know how I react to it also.....then it is also their responsibility to stop the action. After a while, I begin to feel that they continue the action because they know how I react & want to trigger my reaction whether consciously or subconsciously. I really feel that it is the responsibility of both sides & if you know someone will react in a certain way to what we do then we really should respect them & try very hard to stop our actions that trigger a known response.

Yes, I am pointing out the other side of the issue because I have been there also...actually I have been on both sides & know that if I really don't care about the other person, I continue to do what I want because I don't care about how they respond.....when I care, I try really hard to not trigger them. I also try hard not to be triggered it that is where I am or I end up getting mad & FIGHT back.....which really isn't a good place to be in either....but I find that the FIGHT helps me get out of the depression.

Relationships are complicated & it takes consideration on both sides to make them work.

Debbie