you know, there absolutely could be a bit of a connection with your surgery...

but my gosh i am so so SO sorry that you are feeling the way you are. the worst feeling in the world is waking up wishing that you hadn't. i've been there many times. many many times. you know, sometimes that can just be the progression of your mental illness... you know, things are getting worse but that's what is going to happen sort of thing.

you should tell your p that you want his/her opinion on your treatment... or maybe you should seek out another p to help you out more. i hate it when doctors ask what i 'want: my treatment to look like, especially when i don't even know why I look like anymore. you just want someone to step up and help you, and sometimes that doesn't happen.

are you on synthroid? my mother has been on it for years and seems to react well. don't take the xanax unless your anxiety warrants it. i have noticed that i tend to be a bit more depressed when i take xanax.

i guess my advice is to ask your t and p if they think that your depression is a progression of your illness. ask their professional opinions about the the thyroid surgery as well. i am sure, seeing as how proficient you are on this site, that you have researched everything online. but like i said, ptsd and did? that is a lot of strain on your mind.

i think its uber cool though that you are able to post here. i just started, but already i am feeling better. please pm me anytime. i mean it. i just feel so horrible that YOU are feeling so bad. please keep us all updated on how you feel.

p.s. is anything helping to ease your depression right now?