((((((((((googley))))))))))))

I don't know the answer It's something I wonder about too and it makes me scared to call crisis lines. Hopefully someone here will know the answer.

Googley - it's the weekend. Do you think your T might be out of town? My T has started telling me when he's going to be gone all weekend, so I know if I e-mail or call he won't be back in touch until Monday. Before he did that, if I contacted him on the weekend and didn't hear back, I would TOTALLY spiral out....he hated me, he was avoiding me, something terrible had happened to him, something terrible had happened to someone in his family, etc., etc. It was scary, and really, kind of understandable. I had contacted him because I was vulnerable, it was a scary thing to do in the first place, and not hearing back just felt weird and scary.

But of course, none of those things were true. T loves me. He is okay. His family is okay. When he doesn't return my call/e-mail, it's because he hasn't received it and/or he just can't call/e-mail right now. That's IT. I actually just got on to PC because I am waiting (anxiously) for an e-mail from T, so I know how hard it is. But you and I BOTH need to try to not write big stories in our head about what our T's are thinking. Even though it's hard!

This is probably just like the misunderstanding about her keeping the paper. Our fears can FEEL really real, but that doesn't mean they are real.

SO many hugs to you, sweet googley! I am so so so sorry you are having such a hard weekend.