to each their own
i think it's kinda cool that you have something guaranteed to turn you on. i mean, i have basically no fetishes at all, and my sexual life is pretty effing boring. thought it may be strange and unique, that isn't anything to be ashamed of.
sorry you have been kicked off sites before, that must be the shits. i agree with thebyzantine though... sometimes life is a trade-off. if you visualize yourself going without this fetish, can you be happy? if you can't than that's your answer. my advice would be to TRY to go on without it. if a relationship is so rewarding and satisfactory, in every way, that you do not need your fetish anymore. if you find something that fills that need for you than you wont need to fill it with your fetish.
just my little two cents