Dara - I'm glad you feel safe here. You are safe here! I know how you feel. I felt the EXACT same way you do. Hang in there and don't give up! I know you can lose weight....naturally without surgery or medication. It's difficult and takes an extreme amount of determination but I know YOU can do it! I'm not just saying this. I know YOU can do it because I did it myself. I'm 5'3" and I used to weigh close to 280lbs......I'm now down to a fluctuating weight of 129-131lbs. Im not an expert of anything but I'd suggest a few things to help you start out:

1-Buy and read the book called "Abs Diet". It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle changing revolving around "power foods" and solid fitness advice.
2-Buy and read the book "Embracing my big fat *****". It's a lifesaver! I still read it today. In fact, I was just flipping through it a few days ago.
3-Try to incorporate exercise in your life whenever you can. Purposely park further away from the door, never take the elevator but instead use the stairs, take a walk during your lunch breaks. I know these things sound pointless but EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS.
4-This is the BEST advice that I have....this sounds like it could be false but believe me it's true. The best way to lose fat is to ADD MUSCLE. I SWEAR THIS IS TRUE. You can google this and research it yourself. MUSCLE BURNS FAT. As you increase your muscle mass, it makes your body work A LOT harder to keep it. When you eat, your muscles demand the calories FIRST in order to quote "stay alive" so you are less likely to gain fat because your muscles will be "eating up" your calories. Now it's not that easy to add on muscle mass without joining a gym BUT you can still do it if you are creative. There are types of exercises called "body weight" exercises that you can do at home in your bedroom or living room. These will include squats, lunges, dips, push ups, crunches, leg lifts, leg extensions, squat thrusts etc. You can check out Youtube and search for examples of these.

I have so much to say about this topic! I'm not a personal trainer and again I'm no expert but the "tips" that I'm giving you have worked for me. I've spent A LOT of time researching, reading, testing these techniques out. I will post again with links for you.

Hang in there and email me if you want to talk about this more!

All the best,
Melissa