I was where you are last summer. I made a serious attempt...with my meds. Here is what happened... I took my meds by the handful. By handful number 6 I was in the bathroom uncontrolably purging...from both ends I might add. Then I started vomiting so hard that I could not breath. I paniced and called 911. They found me in the bathrom surrounded by my own feces and vomit. I pass out in the ambulance. I wake up to the most chilling words I have ever had "it's weak, but we've got a pulse back". I had a suicide volunteer that was like an angel. I then drank something that looked like the tar pits of La Brea and tasted like it too. I met with the nefrologist who said I may have to go on dyalisis. Confirmed I coded on the way there. They gave me a copy of my heart monitor...23 seconds of flatline. I had someone watching me in ICU 24/7. This was my wakeup call. I am here today partly to help others. Especially those thinking about doing what I did. I did not realize how many people my death would hurt. Call doc ASAP