I don't think you sound totolly that crazy. I have had weird fantasies at times, but they have all passed away with time about gender roles. I never actually carried through with a fantasy about being a girl or something. I am a gay male, and now I don't really even appreciate the beauty of women, or at least in my dealings with my attractive female nurse, I feel intimidated by her perfect health and smarts. I don't find all that much beauty in people lately, and think it is anhedonia at it's worst, but I used to before I had a mental illness and it seems natural. There are even church teachings about appreciating the beauty of the people around you, young or old. I like witty old people the best. It's all just kindof a frivilous tangent unless you ellaborated that you focus on it a lot, but from your post it didn't sound like you did.

Good luck to you.

Grithnir