(((Bashfull))) Please tell your p-doc what is going on with you, or tell your husband or someone who can help you.

Last summer I was having thoughts of suicide and I knew where I had some pills that I no longer used. I opened the bottles to see if I had enough and the only thing that stopped me at that moment is that I didn't know how much I needed. I made plans for my kids, imagined all the people in my life and figured out how long it would take them to feel better, imagined how long it might take and what I would do if I changed my mind after I took the pills.

I wrote it in my journal and that's when I snapped back to reality. Seeing the words there is what saved me. I was frightened that I wasn't scared during all that planning. I was frightened that it actually comforted me. I took the journal entry to my T and we talked on the phone to my p-doc. I flushed those pills. After a few more days of thoughts and taking inventory of everything in my house that I could use, I went to the ER. I stayed at the inpatient psych unit for several days after that and they changed my meds.

I guess I am saying a few things here. That you aren't alone. That you should tell someone right away what you are thinking. That the hospital, although frightening, was the best choice.

Please take action to get help before you go through with anything. Let us know how you are doing.