I don't push others away as much as retreating. Even at home. I went through a very turbulent phase some years ago and it was ugly. I started to drink away my issues and just stay quiet about my disease. I'm not big on drinking now but I can say I have fewer friends now than ever before. I have a friend who cares enough to ask about it (he's depressed himself), and two girls who are into me. Come to think about it I do push the girls away. I'm constantly trying to sabotage what I have with them b/c I think they have their own agendas.

The people who pushed me away didn't even know about my bipolar at first.