Hello & Welcome, Umightknowme007!
Relationship advice is not my thing. Many others here can offer you useful insights.
This catches my attention:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Umightknowme007
HOW DO I GET OUT Of this funk??...I can't sleep.. maybe 3 hours in 5 nights...
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I find sleep critical to maintaining any type of rationality and stability. Seeing as you do not want to go on antidepressants, I hope you might be willing to approach the doctors on the sleep/insomnia issue. Improving your sleep, both its duration and quality, will not solve your other problems, but will go far in restoring your emotional/mental capacities to deal with them.
Wishing you ever-increasing serenity
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My dog

mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.