Hi,

sorry you are struggling with this dream. Obviously, I myself am not qualified to diagnose you or anything. But, I had a simmilar problem and my therapist told me to talk to someone about my dream before going to bed. Discuss how I felt in the dream, what I saw, what i think it might represent, what i could compare it to in my life. If i couldn't talk to someone I would write it down like a brain storm everything i could think of related to it. For example, my dream made me feel like something had changed, something important in my life had gone and i compared that to the loss of my father and the fear of losing my mother.

Often, working through our dreams when we are awake helps to stop them coming to you when you sleep.

You say you have suicidal feelings - would you say you are depressed? How long have you had these feelings? I would recommened trying to find a therapist - I think it could help you not just with suicidal thoughts but with your dreams, too. X