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Originally Posted by Rhapsody
May I ask who was missing from your life by age 6, or, who came into your life that got the attention you so desperately desired (needed)?
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No one was missing, but I did feel alone at times.. Many nights I remembered sitting in my room by myself putting together stuff or playing with toys while my family was watching TV or outside. When my cousin was born and he came over every weekend I would watch my aunt change him and coddle him ect ect.... She showed me how to change diapers even though I was barely out of them myself lol... and little did she know...I was wearing them and stealing them from her.
So with a little bit of shame.... I felt at 6 years old I wanted to be my cousin having my aunt coddle me.
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P.S.
If you have ever watched "Everybody Loves Raymond" you will understand why I am asking the question above...
Robert "the older brother" taps his chin with every piece of food before he eats it and this behavior is still in practice even though he is a full grown man and is deemed to be due to the fact that as a small child baby brother Ray stole all the attention away from Robert when he came into this world... and Robert "lonely and needing" picked up a nurturing behavior he saw mom perform one day when she tried to get baby brother Ray to eat his food (touch his chin then swoop food into mouth) - the tapping of food to the chin is now Roberts way of compensating for the lack of attention he failed to get from his childhood and still feels his does not receive as an adult.
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Love that show
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I know Robert's chin thing well and perhaps the diaper thing serves the same concept for me... being the baby getting the attention and all the love.
Just sucks, because it seems I would still be an attention seeker or needing special love as an adult. Not the case though, because I do well on my own and have earned my way in the job market as well. I do want the attention of a significant other though..really bad and that is one of my other problems...I am feeling uber lonely from not having an SO... It's just me and the fetish and it's not good enough anymore.