I don't know - I just feel like I drift most of the time, like a dandelion seed or untethered balloon or something. On another site I visit, we've been talking a little more in-depth about purposefulness... someone says that everyone touches other lives in some way, but I never feel like I've really deeply touched anyone else, never had an impact. And most of the time, I don't feel any impact from anyone else, either.

Maybe the child I was before I died had some purpose, but that purpose was ended with the deaths - and the adult I am now is just an accident of circumstances & modern medicine.