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Feb 09, 2010, 02:33 PM
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she doesn't have a lot of time left. the cancer has riddled her brain with tumors and is getting to the point where she's not really lucid when she's awake anymore. Maybe at most another month because she hasn't gotten to the point where she's sleeping all the time (even though the sleep cycle is all over the place) and she still has an appetite.
I heard about this last night, and have been having a hard time keeping myself together since that time... it's really the first time I've felt sad or cried over somebody dying since I was a little kid.
I guess the main thing is that I feel like she never really knew how much she mattered to a lot of people. I also felt guilty because she asked me to call her sometime when I last talked to her (on Christmas) but I never did. But mom told me that even at that point her cancer was spreading into her brain so even if I did it would have only really been for me since she probably wouldn't have remembered anyways. Though, once she does pass we are all going down to Atlanta for the funeral and stuff... too bad the only thing I want is that 30ft tall sakura in her back yard which is impossible to get of course  I've wanted to see it since she told me she had one in her back yard that she took home as a little baby tree she found on the side of the road years ago (this was also years before she was diagnosed by the way)
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