Yes, yes and YES!
Soothing? Sometimes we color and that helps. We color mandalas because they have no theme, many children can share the task and the adults deal with it better than a coloring book. You can find mandalas to color on-line and print them off.
This is just one idea, I hope others have more. It isn't very easy for us, trying to be adults and children at the same time, honoring everyone and their needs. It takes a lot of energy, so be kind to yourself and know that many of us struggle with this issue.
In time, as the children learn to trust that T will be there when they return, they will start to relax some. And it helps, too, once they've told their story. Mine seem to have this deep need to be heard and once that happens, they recede a bit. But remember, it takes time and patience for these things to happen. In the meantime, I send you courage and strength and hope, and hugs if safe.