Zoo I believe you, too

You know, when I was seeing desk-t I wrote down an incident of csa for her to read. My memories are fuzzy, but this memory was less fuzzy, so I know it is correct. After she read it, she seemed sympathetic and gently put the paper down. I knew she believed it happened. But I felt like she didnt. It was as if, to my intellectual mind, something like this to happen to a child IS unbelievable. I could hardly even believe it myself but I knew it was true. I almost felt as if there was something going on that was out of my awareness that was making ME not believe it b/c it was so awful to be true. And it was easier for me to believe that she didnt believe me than for me to know that it was so awful as to be not believable.

In other words, feeling like I was not believed on some level somehow made it easier for me deal with the truth and the reality that it did happen. I know this went on for me, does it fit for you? Or am I way out there?