Hey BNLsMOM, did you say your son was 8 or 9? My son is 8 (will be 9 in March) and he has some problems with his ability to cope with pressure. I never know from one minute to the next if he's going to be happy or upset. He's a really, really good boy, but its like any amount of pressure and he cracks. He generally has very good behavior, he doesn't get in trouble at school, he makes good grades and is in the gifted program. Sometimes I wonder if that stuff alone isn't what makes him feel pressured, like he has to live up to a standard that he's set for himself. Me and his dad are really gentle with him and never fuss if he doesn't get a perfect grade, but HE will have a serious break down (crying, calling himself names, sometimes even hitting himself) for minor mistakes (say 2 or 3 points off). We have told him for the past 4 years of school that all we want is for him to do his best and that doesn't mean he always has to have a 100 on everything. Anyway, his fear of pressure really manifests itself when they have to do standardized testing at school. Of course these tests are timed and that completely sends him over the edge. He usually has to be removed from the room because he will cry so hard and get so frustrated and stressed because there are time limits on everything. The sad thing is that he's honestly one of the top students in his grade, but he worries about not doing things so much that he ends up not doing them. (Does that make sense?) He's never had a single incident of trouble at school other than being too hard on himself for mistakes. He's the same way at home. If he messes up one answer on homework he's very likely to cry and spend a lot of time being upset before he can go on (usually this is when he will call himself names, etc.). Anyhow, sorry this is so long, I really do have a point. I think that the school puts entirely too much pressure on the children to do well on these standardized tests. I mean they make a huge HUGE deal out of it. They even start doing practice test in the 1st grade, even thought the "real" tests aren't started until the 3rd grade (which he's in this year). I have quite sincerely considered homeschooling him to help him get away from the unnecessary pressure they pile on him. Sadly, because he is a top student he's expected to do the best on these tests and they make a big deal out of him not doing well. I KNOW this is because him doing well helps to bring up the overall average scores. And I know this stuff because I taught in this district at the k-2nd for 2 years. The amount of pressure from the administration on the teachers about the tests is insane, and the teachers have no choice (they feel) but to put that same pressure on the students. In fact, one of the big reasons I left teaching was because I wasn't willing to force a lot of things they expected me to on my kids. Anyway, here's my point finally: are they doing something like this to your son at his school? Is there something happening during the day that he bottles up until he gets home (that's what my son usually does) and then lets it out when he's safe with you?

I don't know, sorry that was a ludicrously long response. I hope he gets through this. We are struggling to do the best for our son and honestly don't know what to do at this point.

(this is all a public school, by the way-if that makes any difference.)