so in the past i've been told that i have anger issues & yes it's true. plus, there's a long line of hot tempered people in my family. lately i've been really edgy. i get annoyed easily, i get tensed, i wanna scream really loud, my chest tightens... i just don't like myself & realize this but sometimes it's just too late. plus, i know it's probably doing a number on me health wise. i have a long list of previous diagnosis, but i've been off my meds for about 2 years now & also haven't used for a while too. all i know is, i don't want to go back on meds for my depression & everything else i might feel. i've been really good at balancing out my moods, but i'm thinking that maybe my shift has to do with the fact that i had a baby about 9 months ago. my father passed away recently, on my birthday actually. i wanna take care of myself mentally & physically, but i've gone through this process so many times, that i'm terrified of heading back. i don't want to be numb, i want to see my children grow up & remember every moment. maybe i need a friend to talk too & that will help, whatever it may be, i'll accept with open arms as long as i don't go back to the downward spiral.