My other thread is heading off the board so I'll start this one.

I did it! I am SO proud of myself. I made the appointment yesterday with the EMDR specialist but after looking at her photo and thinking about her voice, I got this awful, sinking feeling. I may be totally wrong about her, but I had such a strong feeling of distaste and fear,and a feeling that I wanted to run far away from her. That is an unusual reaction for me.

I only saw the T who does IFS once, but I already feel close to her. I've called her twice and she's emailed me twice. She told me to go with my gut feeling of which T to see. So, I called her again and told her I feel safe with her and that I want to try it out with her first. I have an appointment next week! I don't feel scared to be with her. Well, maybe a little, but I am so relieved I am not going to waste an appointment with the other T. She sounds experienced, but I don't she's what I want in a T right now. Something seems weird about her....

So, I can't believe I'm going to see a new T! I'm not sure I'm going to like IFS therapy, but I know the child part of me will have a safe place to be, and that's what I want right now. This T was interested in my writing and artwork, genuinely interested. I like her office; it's my style of comfort. She told me if it doesn't work out after a few sessions, I can stop. She's reassuring me on all levels. I need to ask her if it's okay to talk about anything. I'm sure it is, but I like it when a T tells me that in her words. I already told her a lot about my issues, even the hard stuff. I do that easily in the beginning, when the T is still a stranger. I'm sure it won't be so easy when we really get into the nitty-gritty.

Thanks again for everyone's advice to me.