Thanks for all your answers. It's nice to know I'm not alone. I'm sure I will think of her everyday for the rest of my life. I guess the hard part is letting myself get close to another friend. It's really hard because I have had friends that turned out to be horrible and selfish and I have no tolerance of people like that because I know what a "True Friend" is and now I wonder if i'll ever find another one. And plus, not knowing what she died from has made me sort of a "hypochondriac", but i'm sure that will pass with time as well.

I used to go to church all the time but over the past 4 years life had gotten a little busy and I've gotten lazy, I still believe of course and pray alot. I would like to go back to church but I have found that this has hindered my faith a bit, I still believe don't get me wrong but sometimes I'm just so angry and confused that it seems easier to just give up. Anyone have any spiritual advice? Should I go back to church? I'm afraid if I do , that I will just cry the whole time and that would be embarassing .

Also, her parents had her cremated and they still have not buried her or made solid plans to spread the ashes....Sometimes I feel like things would be a whole lot better if I just had a place to go.....any advice on this?

To all those who have responded, thanks.....and I'm sorry for your losses as well , please let me know if I can help you.