I need a T who self discloses a lot. I need to know she is "real" and see we have things in common. It helps me so much to know she goes through the same kinds of teen troubles and issues that I go through (we both have teenage sons). Also, a T who is there for me whenever I need her (within reason). I never take advantage of that though, but I need to feel that she is out there and I'm able to contact her. That is one of the things i like about DBT. Two minutes on the phone is all it takes to help me to find my way back from hell. I have no idea if my t likes spaghetti-ohs, lol. I hope that wouldn't be a deal-breaker for you!