thank you skyliner and peaches. If you knew my T, you wouldn't expect her to say i could call her if i need her while she is on vacation! She isn't the warm and fuzzy type, lol. Part of it is that she doesn't have anyone specifically covering for her, and part of it, i believe, is that she knows that I wouldn't take advantage of that unless it was really difficult for me. she knows me very well. and she is very good in that she must have realized that not having my other support might be as issue over these two weeks. She knows i'm grieving right now. But I feel so much better since getting that phone call from the other person who i have lost. I no longer feel I have lost her, not completely. That is so important to me.