Gawd yes. I totally relate to this.

Maybe it would be fun to try something experimental in your next session?

There's a theater exercise where you're assigned a random partner and you have to just look at the person for a full minute. It is excruciating, but I think it can take you to an amazing place. It's just very very difficult. If I ever tried it with my T, I think I'd start crying!

You said you could put what you're feeling in writing. Maybe do that and take it in to your next session? Or take some crayons or something else to play with?

Duh, I just realized you're probably in your session...Please update on how it goes!