I know its too late cos you will be at your appt now but, just wanted to encourage you to talk to pdoc or t about the conflicting thoughts about your relationship with your dad. I have a complicated relationship with my dad too but my dad isn't abusive in the way your dad is. It can sometimes feel like you have two dads and you just want to be around the nice dad all the time. I don't understand why they are so upset about you moving out. It sounds like to me that you are similar to me, when you hold the family together and take on problems. Anyway i'm hoping for your abusive situation to stop.