This was not your fault. You were under threat from someone that was stronger, bigger and armed. You were the victim. You can never erase what happened but you can can learn to come to terms with what happened. Please have the compassion for yourself that you would have for someone else that this happened to. You deserve to treat yourself well. Your daughter is very lucky to have such a loving mom. That is something you can be very proud of.

My therapist found me someone who specialized in people who have been abused and it is helping me tremendously. Again treat yourself kindly.

You are not alone. Good luck finding help. My heart goes out to you. ((((((((((dsmart)))))))))))))