ok well I just called her and said that I feel like there's some tension or problem between her and I and I don't understand that but it feels really bad and I need to talk to her about it. I took your advice, blue, and said that in a lot of ways she's my "safe person" (I've never said that to her before ) and now I feel like I've lost that and I'm scared. Also that I'd like to let it rest until I see her on Tues but I don't think I can sit with feeling like this until then, and I asked her to call me back and said "this is what I need to talk to you about" because I've called her a few times earlier this week and it seems like she has been able to sort of deflect the point of my call from being about our relationship to something else.

I don't know if she's doing that on purpose or even if it's all just in my head and I'm blowing it all out of proportion. I HOPE I'm blowing some stupid little thing out of proportion, really.
now just to wait for her to call back... :eyeroll: