Last night was the first time that I seriously considered this as an option to explain what I experience. I decided to try and start an inner dialogue as I lay in bed and sort of meditated my way through it. Normally when I try to meditate, especially at night, I become quickly afraid of the mental images that follow. (What I always considered OCD)

Last night, the first image that popped into my head was of a grim reaper, scythe wielding and all, repeatedly cutting at me from all directions. Normally this would scare me off of "meditating" further, and even though another voice was telling me this was all nonsense and I was making it up/forcing, I just tried to breathe and remain open. After the "grim reaper" I saw the image of a baby making the "wah" face. I don't remember hearing anything, just seeing these two images. The baby was essentially BEHIND the "reaper". It looked like that cartoon baby at the beginning of 'Who Stole Roger Rabbit' the movie. Then I rolled over and tried to go to sleep.

When things get really intense, I hear what I call "the screaming in my head". But this baby wasn't screaming, just to clarify for myself I guess.

Today I managed to leave the house with my son and husband, who took the day off of work to be with me, because I've been fighting really hard lately and just needed some extra help/love. As I was getting ready to go I started to get very anxious and hear all of the fearful/worry thoughts coming on, I went into another room and tried to talk myself down. I just told myself that going out would be good, it would be fun, and that there was nothing to be afraid of. Later in the day I had another of my "sides" show themselves and I did the same.

I don't know whether or not I have DID or not, but thinking of the varying parts of myself that behave in such drastically different ways as individual personalities made today a more successful day. And that gives me hope.

P.S. Meds have done the exact same thing to me.