Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine2
goodgirl, hi
My parents and both brothers are deceased, and I've cut off all contact with my two sisters.
I felt no guilt when I cut off contact...huge relief, though.
There was estrangement from the time I was a child, I believe it was another result of the childhood trauma. There were no feelings of being connected to them or my extended family.
Over the years, there was some progress until I was told that I should have died 1. when one of my brothers died in Nam, 2. and I should have been the one to die when the next brother died...from exposure to Agent Orange while in Nam. To them, my tours of duty as an Army nurse were not as valuable and honorable; hence their disappointment when I lived...
After my parents died, I no longer felt the need for any pretense of love and respect for/from my sisters.
I was raised in The Church Of Never-Ending Guilt, taught family is family is duty...it kept me from doing what was right for me.
It was with a bit of surprise when I realized that I didn't particularly care for my sisters...and did not have to accept their disrespect for me.
What has been your experience with your family?
In Peace
|
Well, its a long and complicated story. First I can tell you I was a middle child. My older sister was 2 yrs older. I was never allowed to be with her friends even at her pool parties at our family home. My younger sister is 5 years younger. I don't think she knows all the details because she was much younger. My mother is pretty crazy. She was beating my older sister with a old style corded phone handle the night before she got married. Mom called us every swear name in the book. She would hit us with anything even full canned foods. I remember being interegated as young as 5. I was always given the blame even though I didn't do it. My older sister knew I was being blamed for something she did and it didn't even make her flich. My mother told me I was not college material as a child! I would "Never" tell my children something like that. I have a 30 yr old son who has been very successful with a bachelor degree and a very good career. My mother told me I just "Got Lucky" with him. I have had my hands full with my other children but nothing really major considering they were raised by me alone for 16 yrs. My mother compared me to my older sister. I of course was never good enough. My older sister is very passive agressive so she expells her attitude in a more gentle way. I have a passive father, usually. He does what my mother says. My younger sister has finally found common ground with my mother. That's great for her but my mother continues to abuse me mentally and verbally. My mother is trying to make my own children hate me. So, that makes a long story short but I can tell you that the years of abuse have hardened me to the point I am depressed all the time. I pray for strength and the ability to forgive to relieve my own pain. My younger sister thinks I am over reacting and being selfish only thinking of me. It's hard not to think of me because I feel like I am slowly and painfully dying. If I weren't in great pain I wouldn't be on here venting and looking for support and coping ideas. Family should be there for you while you are living, not when they are ready to put you in your grave. I don't get it? Is that what it is going to take for them to be happy?
Look through my threads and posts for my story.