Yes I,ve had the same experience with T, wanting her to be angry at me because thats familiar. If that dynamic was to be reacreated with T then all I'd be doing is repeating the past, but because T doesn't "react" to my unconscious attempts to create the familiar, I am able to experience what it actually felt like back then when the anger was being tossed around and sometimes thats hard to sit with and I find myself trying even harder to enrage T, to get her to react, better than being left with the reality of what it felt like to be involved in such volatile environment as a child. Better than having to feel my own anger instead of sitting back and watching someone Else's anger, if that makes sense?