Oh my, I don't know what to say to you really, but I hate to see someone spend so much time talking and have no one respond. I think you are under a lot of pressure. It must be really scary to have to take care of so many people all by yourself, especially to be financially responsible for your parent, yikes, that's terrifying! As far as this new relationship, I know it will be hard to do this, but you have to give the guy a chance to be who he is. I know you've had a bad past, but it doesn't mean each new person you meet will do these bad things too. I have to say that rather than talking yourself into or out of the relationship, why don't you just let it go naturally for a little while. Just because you've found someone you like doesn't mean you have to get married to them (it took me YEARS to marry my husband!). You also don't have to lose yourself because you are in a relationship, you can certainly still be the provider for your daughter and if you must, provide for your parents. Go into this thinking about how you want a friend and companion and try not to expect anything else out of him. That way you are giving him a fair chance to be himself-for good or bad. Then you can decide where you want things to go from there.

And the back going numb thing could be a pinched nerve or something. I don't know though, a doctor would have to check that so you can be sure.

Good luck with all of this and try not to project so many things from your past onto this current guy.