Hi Rainbow,

Yes, I think it's normal to wonder how your therapy is going to go with this new t. One thing i would caution you about though, based on my experience: I'm sort of a control freak, in the sense that i want/need to know ahead of time what's going to happen in therapy/life and then prepare myself for it. It helps me feel safe and in control of what's happening to me. The problem with that is (1) it's not possible to control everything and (2) I spent so much time reading about therapy and trying to be prepared for it that i could not really just let go and allow the therapy process to unfold on it's own. Does that make sense?

In the attempt to know the process and have the answers about what therapy was like, i wasn't able to just "do it." I was trying to be intellectually prepared, but it prevented me from being able to go in to the therapy room with a fresh open mind and just experience the therapy sessions as they were.

So while it's normal and fine to think about what your therapy will be like with this new t, try not to plan/control/expect things to be a certain way to the point where you can't relax and allow things to unfold on their own. I've stopped alot of my reading, planning, analyzing my therapy now and am trying to experience my sessions more in-the-moment. It feels less "safe" to me, but it also enables me to be more spontaneous and real in my sessions.