The answers are in classic OCD treatment. You are not evil. Ocd three biggest, dirt, sin, sex, add scrupulosity and symerty in there and hey, You sure you aren't my daughter? No joke hun, there is treatment, do a search on a residential treatment for OCD with specialists in the feild. Don't let it take over your life anymore. I don't think I have said this here but I have a very brave 17 year old who told me recently her life is on hold until she can get serious treatment as the OCD is disabling. Oh my goodness I really hope our insurance funds it and I hope we are allowed to drop and run because I am her mom and I know how painful the compulsions and obsessions are. Good luck. Treat it now, take back your life.