Hi everyone. I don't know exactly where to begin, but at the moment I feel paralyzed and helpless. My girlfriend has a borderline personality... she believes that she is fundamentally unlovable... that everyone will ultimately leave her... that she can't trust anyone. It seems that the only way she's discovered to not feel totally alone is for me to have sex with her. But if it all doesn't go perfectly, she has extremely negative reactions. She feels ugly and unlovable, she gets angry at me for making her feel that way, and then she "shuts off"... she doesn't display any emotion, doesn't talk much more than 1-2 word answers to questions, doesn't move, doesn't really do anything.

About a week ago this has led me to develop a pretty bad case of performance anxiety. I can't "keep it up" for the life of me, and she totally blames herself and her "ugliness". I tell her how I feel, and she tells me to "just stop it" or "just fix it" .... she believes I have the power to fix it all right now, in the blink of an eye. I don't. It all feels like a big downward spiral. We saw a therapist about it a couple days ago, but my girlfriend expected everything to be fixed within a few hours, and of course it wasn't, and she applied more and more pressure on me to get it fixed, which only increased the stress and anxiety on me.

Now she's giving me ultimatums left and right, and she's even started cutting herself and offhandedly mentioning suicide. I love her, but it's awfully hard to be sexually attracted to what she has become, even if I could fix the anxiety.

What on earth can I do? I don't know how much time I have left, and I don't know what's going to happen when I run out. Is there anyone that can help me? She hates the idea of therapy... hates even more the idea of medication... she'd kill me if she saw this post, I think, but I'm doing my best to help her. I love her so much. Please, can anyone offer any advice?

Thank you,

Evan