((((((((((( tree )))))))))) i am crying right now for you a bit. I am so so sorry you endured what you did and now have to face the shame that followed. You should not "forgive" the little girl *(imho)* because SHE in MY T's exact words "Didn't do a dammmn thing wrong!"

There is nothing to forgve dear one. Nothing.
I get it - that feeling of shame and being at fault - some how responsible.
And I totally get knowing it logically but not being able to aply it to the heart where we carry the guilt day in and day out. Frankly, it stinks to high heaven. And anyone who touches a child should be tortured in a billion ways and made to suffer over and over regardless of how "sorry" their sorry butts may be.

YOU are a warrior and a winner dearest tree!!!!! And reading you share your heart here on PC and how brave you are makes me able to also be brave and share with my T. So thank you so much for being a hero to me.