Oh good ideas, Possum. I hadn't thought about washing the walls. I am burning lavender incense in here, which helps some. and i do have an air filter.
My former T just left - she brought me a pretty pot of tulips She stayed for 2 hours, and was very (adopted) aunt like; looking into what I need, trying to fix the closet doors and the water heater. I forgot to ask her to check out the "common room" with me, since I am too chicken to go alone. Ah well, she said she plans on seeing me often - as often as I'll have her, she said. lol.
It is strange too, because I was soooooooooooooo dissociated when I worked with her back in... oh gosh... 2003-2006 i guess... that I feel like I hardly know her! The only thing I really know of her is her distinctive voice and Lousianna accent love to hear her voice. It is like a sound of comfort to me.
We did talk some about mom and what it is like to be away from her - she mentioned how in some ways the covert abuse can be harder than the obvious physical assults (dad) because you don't see the damage it is doing. Which has been really true. I knw dad was not safe, i thought mom was. But over this past decade of living with her, i lost my will to fight. I didn't know what I was fighting against - with her changing mindframes.
Ahhhhhhhh ok it is time to clean in here so that I DO NOT allow it to become like mom's place. that is crucial. Like you said, Possum, I MUST make my stamp on it. I must create the place I want to live in (even if this feels often like a new kind of hell).