I was sitting here, not feeling great, wondering why people don't respond much to the threads I start. Then I realized I only post things that don't need a response like the DSM-V info. I mostly post about information, not feelings. So, here I am, posting about feelings. The last day or so I have felt a sense of restlessness although I just sit in front of the tv with my laptop. The restlessness is increasing. I realized this morning that I had missed my meds yesterday (that doesn't happen very often). So, is that what is happening? I have spent hours this evening surfing about suicide -- although I am NOT suicidal at this time but have had some poor me thoughts like why don't I have a medical illness, I wish I could go to the hospital, etc... I keep feeling like calling my psychologist and leaving a message but that won't make me feel better because she won't even get it until Monday... and what is there to say to me? Strange because I am not all that depressed. I have ECT on Wednesday so I know it will get better I just don't like where I am right now. Down, draggy, restless, not wanting to do anything, apathetic. I guess I just feel needy but don't want to admit it to anyone. I wish I could stay stable more than a few weeks at a time.