I had a T who helped me eight years ago through the initial stage of a very difficult time. I had been arrested, was facing 20 years, and was getting kicked out of my church (and subsequently my network of friends and family). She set me up with an attorney friend of hers for the legal issues (who made one brilliant move in the courtroom and got my charge reduced to a misdemeanor), she kept me from running back to the religion to beg them to let me back in, and she basically told me everything I needed to do during that time. I listened to every word she said and I did everything she told me to do. Some would say she stepped over a boundary by giving advice, telling me what to do, and setting me up with an attorney. I, though, am grateful that she did those things.

I look back through my life (of what I can remember) and can think of only four people who I would tag as godly or placed by God on my journey; she was one of them. I owe so much to her, and when I'm conducting writing classes in the local jail, I think of her and hope that just maybe it's my form of giving back for the bad things I've done and as a means to pay her kindness forward.

She retired and I thought I had not corresponded with her after she left, but recently I came across a box of old stuff and found letters from her, so I guess we did correspond for some time afterward. This past summer my then-therapist tried to reach out to her when this dissociative stuff started happening to understand what happened while I was seeing her (she had said I was DID), but her practice said that she left the state years ago and no one ever heard from her again. One of the parts inside was tasked to locate her, and damn if he didn't. Now, her address sits on my desk and I haven't decided what to do.