((((googley))))

I understand that feeling and you are making perfect sense. When we are brought up in a place where bad is good, hate is love, and abuse is caring it only makes sense that you would feel this way. And I think a lot of times I feel that if I can get someone to hurt me then they must love and care about me. So you are not alone in your feelings.

I have always felt I deserved to be hurt. If I am hurt then I am doing something right. Even though it seems not logical to others around, it seems like the right thing to me. I have always said that I need to be hurt. It is just what I know. So I understand what you are saying.

I am sorry you are feeling this way and you do not deserve to be hurt anymore. But I validate what you are feeling. Know that I care and I am listening and hearing what you are saying.

dps