You all are so very wonderful and I am just overwhelmed by the goodness and kindness coming from you. Thank you all very much.

Psyched, I think you are right. I am angry. That is really hard to say, to admit to myself. I was never allowed to be angry as a child and I find that even now I tend to focus my anger on myself and hold it all in because I have no idea how to let it out.

My t/pdoc has given me the homework assignment of writing a letter to my mother (whom greatly mentally and physically abused me) telling her all the things I've wanted to say but that she wouldn't allow me to say. I am supposed to bring it in to him on my next visit and we are going to read it together and then he's going to help me mail it. Even though I know she will not respond and if by any chance she does, she will only turn things into my fault, I believe this is something I do need to do.

Gravvvy the email thing is awesome. We are doing alright financially, but I feel tremendous guilt spending money on me, so I have a really hard time finding any way to justify expenses on myself, but the idea of paying per email doesn't sound bad at all. I wouldn't feel guilty about that. Wow, that's a great resource. I am going to try that out and see if I can handle it.

Really,everyone, thank you from the bottom of my heart.