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lynn P. · Feb 13, 2010, 01:26 PM

(((Bridgie))) - I understand how you feel in relation to being friends after being a couple. I'm not bipolar but my brother (since passed) was manic depressive, so I have experience as an observer of a loved one with mental illness.

My story is a long one, so I won't get into it - but I was devastated in a major way by my husband. It is possible to be friends after being lovers but it's a gradual process. Not everyone can do it and it can't be forced. It's a process of going through all the emotions and healing before you can reach a point where you're friends. I still live with my husband for financial reasons/kids but we've reached a point where we're civil and friends. This didn't happen overnight and there were a lot of emotions that needed to be worked through.

I'm very sorry you're hurting and are suffering broken promises. It's also difficult for loved ones who have loved ones with mental illness. You said he promised to understand but didn't follow through - I know this must hurt but not everyone is strong enough to handle the challenges of dealing with MI.

You also wonder, how could he move on so fast. I don't think men(not all) know as much about baggage and rebound relationships as we do. They just feel lonely and need physical comfort. Naturally we wonder, does that mean he never really loved me? How could he move on so fast? The chances are your ex and this woman might not last long because he probably has unresolved issues. Relationships are hard even if both people are stable so I understand it must be very challenging for someone with mental illness. All you can do is recognize what triggers you emotionally. I hope everything works out for you. Don't let yourself get down about this.