You all have such wonderful insight. I'm glad to have such replies. Half the time I don feel as though I'm better off. I couldn't live with no support from a partner. I think part of the reason I'm having trouble is now I don't know what exactly to do with myself. I keep going back to the same old things and that's stuff we did together. Readjusting lifeastyles is difficult. Change is a trigger for me. Whether it be good or bad change. I know I've held on a little long. Or so it seems its only been a cpl weeks that it was truly over. I'm trying to find things for me to do that make me happy. Its hard to do when you are depressed. I did have a short manic period. It was strange. I feel as if I'm on the verge of normallcy and then back I slip. Thank you again for for your responses. Acknowledgment is a big thing. Thank you