I come from a VERY Catholic family. My parents are together. I am one of nine children. All of us are homeschooled.
I refuse to voice that there is a problem and they either don't notice or ignore it. Because of this, they do not directly support me in my struggles with depression and SI, but I know that they love me.
My parents are so busy. I stay out of thier way and try to do what I need to do without them. They have never said in so many words, but I feel like a burden and a dissapointment to them. I am one more mouth to feed, one more person to worry about.
My siblings know how to get the worst of me, and shamefully, I give it. They deserve a much better sister than I. I am setting such a terrible example and it hurts me so much to see them follow in my footsteps. I pray they never end up where I am. Sometimes they joke to me about how miserable and depressed I am. I laugh with them.
I love my family dearly. While I feel that I have failed them, it is for thier sake that I have not taken my own life. They love me, even if it is not always how I want to be loved. I cannot disrupt thier lives in such a terrible and selfish way.
Family... oh goodness. It's one of those love hate things...