well, for the cheating thing, when i was with him for the marine corps ball he curled up and begged me not to cheat on him and said he'd go crazy if i left him, then said all women cheat during deployments. so i know it has something to do with it even if i would never do that.

I am truly sorry that you have gone through so much...his problems seem to be long standing and you have been caught in the middle of them

i know he needs to focus. but the more i leave him alone, the more he seeks me out to be cruel. we met on a forum first, and i stopped talking to him there and now he's reading every post i make and leaving rude comments to me for absolutely no reason. like he says he doesn't want contact with me, but as soon as i stop, he'll seek it out in negative ways.

Is there no way you can put him on ignore...or be invisible whenever you are on?
maybe it will stop now that he is deployed--or is he deployed? his time online should become limited and maybe this will help the situation...

love hurts. he has problems and i think he needs to be evaluated. he doesn't seem capable of controlling this side of him when he snaps. either he gets help and things work out or he doesn't. i can't force it, but i can inform his family that i'm friends with and they can support him since he won't let me

You're right...love hurts although it shouldn't...but when it starts hurting this badly, changes have to be made.
You have to take care of yourself, veggy
It sounds like you are ready to do so...and I know that is painful on so many levels.

I sincerely wish you well on healing from this,
Catherine